Well, the last 8 weeks have been crazy, scary, emotional, upsetting, painful, frustrating, confusing, happy and exhausting. Here is an insight on what went on..
I was fed up with being bloated and my body not functioning right, so within myself i knew i needed to go to the doctor.
They sent away tests, they all came back negative, and the treated me with high doses of antibiotics for 3 days, thinking it could either be parasite that didnt show up in the results, or an infection in my stomach/intestines. After a few days i actually felt a difference.
My stats kept going down slowly, but my body was tired after nearly a full year of comp prepping.
I was on 3 cardio sessions a day, minimal calories, and being up at 6am, working til 6.30pm, then training and getting home at around 10-11pm every night was taking its toll.
I wanted to give up. I was over it. But at the same time, in my head i was arguing with myself,
DO IT, YOU HAVE PREPPED ALL YEAR FOR THIS!! So i kept pushing through.
I decided i was going to do the NABBA Tas Titles the week before INBA, for fun, it as in Hobart so no traveling, and i got a sponsor for INBA, Pinup Model Management, and John Dobbin Photography, so money wasnt an issue. I was aware i wasnt in as good of shape as i was in for the Melbourne Classic, but i still put in all the effort so why not.
The week before, i was feeling horrible about my body, and not confident about the comp.
I thought the feeling would pass, but it was still there the morning of the show.
But i still got up there.
I may have been the only one, and won my division, but i got up there. It was a great experience and i was so glad i did. Atleast i now hold a Title :P
The morning after, i got a horrible message, saying how horrid i looked, and that i shouldnt have got up there. I was so hurt and i actually got angry at myself, and everyone around me for letting me get up there. I planned to pull out of the INBA comp, i was convinced i was stupid to think i could get up there in a condition that wasnt my best.
That week, people told me i needed to fight back, and get up there again at INBA. I dont know why, but i listened and i did my peak week all over again and i went to Launceston. I changed my attitude, i no longer cared if i wasnt losing fat, if i was tired, if i look pudgy, i was doing this for fun, and i actually did not care about it at all. I just wanted to get my tan on and get dolled up and look like a cheap hooker.
Im so glad i decided to, as i placed 3rd in my division, and spent the weekend with a great team.
My amazing partner also scored a 3rd and a 4th and im so proud!
So thats my last 8 weeks, its not some fairytale of a bikini model, its real life, its my life.
Time to give my body a rest, relax a bit on the diet and training, and hope my body amends itself.
Lj x
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